Ladies the brighter side of life is not just a walk or a jog, it’s a journey.

As women it seems we are all taking care of everyone else, at least the women in my tribe. How many of you actually take care of yourself? I know you brush your teeth, and maybe get your hair and nails done, but I’m talking about emotional care. Where do you place yourself on your list? Great question, right? There is so much talk about self-care and filling our own cup and really discovering your soul.

I am practicing and constantly learning. I believe situations and other people teach us what we need to know about ourselves. Are you on a search also? When I wake up, I truly am excited to wake up to another new day with unlimited opportunities. When I get out of bed, what happens from that point on, is another thing, because we can and I have had my day hijacked—has that ever happened to you? Life happens to us, and we can’t really control the day to day actions of our surroundings and others. What we can control is how we run and live our lives and how we deal with the consequences. Are you a reactor, or do you think through and make conscious decisions?

I have learned that I sometimes forget to remember my boundaries. I’m so fast to say “Yes, I will take care of it” or I feel obligated. I’m not talking about emergencies—that takes a whole different set of rules. We just have to remember that we don’t always have to jump in and be a part of everything. We need to have an emotional compass or navigator that we plan to have our best day with setting goals and intentions with some wiggle room. I do that because there are always surprises that come up, and I love spontaneity; it’s very common for me to throw some last minute surprises in my day. I call it not leaving any life on the table.

Every day should be a good day. If that’s not happening, change the way you see your picture. Ask yourself, What makes you happy? I think this is sometimes a hard question to answer, because life and situations change. Some of us are just surviving and maybe feel numb—wouldn’t it be great to thrive?

What do you do that you’re passionate about—relationships, work, hobbies, family, school? Please dig deep into this one, as I truly believe we all have a purpose and a gift. I really would be sad if you are missing out on sharing your gifts or mostly enjoying them.

Do you have other women you call your tribe, friends that hopefully you look up to? To me, those are the women in our lives that care and have your best interest at heart; we share admiration and respect for each other. These are women from whom you can learn their golden nuggets, because they are sharing them with you, without feeling threatened. We should be picking up from others, as we all have gifts to share.

If you haven’t already, please find your tribe—it can be many outlets. I hope this has given you a new direction to live on the brighter side of life. When you get out of bed, choose to do what makes you truly happy. Love more, but mostly love yourself. This is your life, choose the path that puts you on the top of your list.

Kim Pagano is brought to you by the award-winning talk radio station AM 1590 KVTA. She brings you the Brighter Side of the 805, Saturdays from 7 to 8 a.m., reminding us how important it is to “Look Good, Feel Good, Do Good.” Subscribe to her podcast: ITunes/The Kim Pagano Show.